GAY SEX AS A TOP | WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW
Whether you’re a power top (meaning you like to have Sex As A Top). Or your sexual partner is a power bottom (where the bottom likes to be in charge and control). Being a top is a lot of responsibility
HOW TO HAVE SEX AS A TOP
There Are A Few Important Things You Need To Consider When Topping.
ASK
Your bottom boy might not have had a chance to prepare himself. It’s better to ask if you want to fuck, than getting into it and discovering a mess. It happens, it’s a part of anal play. But it’s always best to check in and give him the option of either preparing with anal cleaning guide 101 or arranging for an alternate sexual activity.
WATCH YOUR SIZE:-
If it doesn’t fit in his mouth properly (regardless of whether he’s a small guy) do you seriously expect him to take it in the ass like a pro? In case you’re a dude with a thick cock (thickness matters most here, not necessarily length). Or you’re with a sexual partner that doesn’t get fucked again and again and is truly tight. There are several things you can do to make things less difficult for him.
Firstly, ensure that he is relaxed.
When having boys over to fuck them, (or fuck me) I usually pop them in the shower first. One, I know that they’re clean.
Two, it’s a really nice way to explore each other’s bodies with little pressure. Trust me, working up some suds and whispering what you want to do to him (or him to you) is a great way to get the cocks twitching. You can even start stroking him or doing some finger work with the comfort of some warm water.
Once you’re out of the shower you can keep it going. Relaxation is the key here. Work his nipple with a tongue, nibble on his ears. Use this opportunity to find what makes him moan and work it to the max.
Finger Play
When he starts breathing heavily and wanting more, have a go at slipping a finger in him. You might want to use lubricant here to ensure that there’s smoothness and no friction. It’s great to do this whilst you’re distracting him by sucking his cock, nibbling ears or nipples. Or doing whatever it takes to get him twitching and groaning.
You need to train the body to not focus on the sphincter. If he’s nervous, that’s all that he’ll be thinking about and you need to get him to focus on other things. Work a solitary finger up his ass and gauge how he responds.
If he’s still focused on whatever it is that you’re doing elsewhere, see if you can wriggle around. Stroke the prostate and really send him up the wall.
From there, you can try bringing the second finger in
Repeating the above. In case you’re feeling as courageous and adventurous as is he, attempt three. Try and ensure that you work each step for a few minutes before advancing to another finger.
Also, there’s no need to move the fingers in and out excessively. Let him get used to thought of having something within him. If you really want to try and get him worked out – try and make the ‘come hither’ motion with your index finger to stimulate the prostate. Alternatively you could get a small prostate toy or butt plug from your favourite sex store. The prostate is a wonderful little nerve centre should feel like a small walnut and should drive him absolutely crazy. Watch his face – if it’s his first time as well the face will show you everything you need to know.
A common thing at this point is that many boys will feel that they need to pee. If they feel this way then you’re fingers are being way too rough and hard. You need to prod less firmly and stroke a little more. By pressing firmly against the prostate, you’re also placing pressure on his bladder.
Next step is working his ass.
If you like rimming then by all means go to town, you know he’s just had a shower. This is why putting them in the shower is awesome. Work his ass.
Start with little tongue strokes against his thigh and move your way up and in. Some boys like to bite the thighs, some boys like power stroking it really depends. There’s no right or wrong way for rimming – so long as the bottom enjoys it. By this stag he should be itching for it, practically begging for you to pound his ass. You’ve warmed him up with plenty of foreplay, and he’s aching for it.
Sex As A Top
You can then try putting you cock between his legs. Lube it up (I really love the feel of silicone and I don’t have to reapply). If you’ve got a larger cock, you might need to guide it in, or get him to help you guide it in. This depends on the position.
Concentrate at this point, hold it up against the entrance of his ass and stop and hold it there for some time whilst pushing very gently against the sphincter.
As he gets more confident push in somewhat more.
The most important thing here is to watch his face. If he looks in pain then you haven’t warmed him up enough and you need to stop. Retreat back a little bit, and try some more foreplay and come back to it. If you’re quite long then it might be a good idea to hold your cock straight with one hand. So it doesn’t bend and can still put pressure on his sphincter.
Keep in mind the sphincter is an involuntary muscle, if he’s not relaxed trying to ram it through isn’t going to help either of you.
You’ll get frustrated and rash, and he’ll be getting more uncomfortable feeling like crap because he can’t get it to work – which starts a horrible mind cycle for both of you.
If he’s struggling because of your size
Then you have two options here. If it’s well beyond his limits, then you’re going to have to invest some time and money in some toys that he can practice with for his first time. You might be there as well, and guiding the dildo in, or just leave him to it.
From there, he’ll have to gradually increase the size so that he’s then capable of taking you. The other option is to continue trying to relax him, and repeating the cycle. If after a few goes it’s clear that it’s not working, switch your sexual activity into something that doesn’t involve anal with him.
If he’s struggling because he’s nervous
Then leave your cock there and maintain a gentle pressure and try and distract him with some nipple play, sensual kissing, neck biting, ear biting or whatever else gets him moaning. With some luck the muscles will relax and you’ll slip right in.
Again, if you’re quite long here there’s really no need to ram it in to the hilt and balls right away – you’ll need to work your way to that point. Don’t start wildly jerking just yet.
Start with some gentle sliding back and forth, as much as he’ll take it in. You can even pull out and gently put your cock head back in – some boys love the feeling of their sphincter contracting. Use long strokes, not short and sharp, and slowly build up some power.
Keep in mind about your lovers cock while fucking him.
Don’t forget to stroke it and play with it. Some boys will let you, some boys will find the stimulation too much and will pull you away – don’t despair he might just be enjoying it a lot. I’ve slept with a few boys that couldn’t handle stroking whilst being fucked. Simply touching their cock would make them blow.
Fucking can get really standard and routine. As well as ensuring that you change your rhythm every now and then (it’s actually really boring to just fuck like a rabbit.
I’m looking at you Mr One-Afternoon-Stand who refused to bottom for me to show him how it’s actually done) it’s also great to change up the position. I adore simply tossing my sex buddy from position to position while fucking him, or getting fucked.
Urge him to attempt new ways – and speak about what you’re going to do.
Additionally attempt new areas other than your room or bed.
Don’t just limit it to your house – I once gave a boy a blow job whilst travelling down the highway and the amount of handjobs on trains that have happened in my lifetime not only got the initial lust out of the way but allowed me to recover in time for some lengthy sex sessions once we made it home from our date.
Being a top is fun
But it’s also about being responsible. You’re penetrating someone, I learned the hard way that you need to respect your bottoms body after one particularly hard session whereby he was out of action for a few days and had to go to the doctor.
That was an uncomfortable trip and I was absolutely mortified. I was overcome by lust and I’d completely focused on my own interests rather than the interests of my partner. In saying that, I’ve never made that mistake again.
As a top it’s also your responsibility (not that I’m saying there’s no responsibility of the bottom) to ensure that the sex is safe and enjoyable. Use condoms and for goodness sake don’t be a cheap skate on the lubricant – get the good stuff.
You’ll enjoy it more it’ll be worth it, just trust me on this!