Locations for Your First Gay Sexual Experience
Your first Gay Sexual Experience can be a scary thing. You’ve read the ultimate guide to preparing for your first gay sex experience. Now, it’s time for the real thing!! With the rise of dating apps we now live in a society where gay sex is remarkably easy to access.
No longer do you have to know a secret code and ‘be a friend of Dorothy’. Or know where the secret underground poorly lit club is (and if you don’t know what any of that means be thankful that you’re still young).These days, you can simply log onto your phone turn on Grindr and have a boy on his way to your apartment in exactly 5 minutes.
Even if you’re not a fan of the online dating scene, society has generally relaxed enough that there are parties, clubs. And all sorts of events such as pride marches, pride picnics and fetish events where you can meet boys, flirt and have a great time.
First Awkward Sexual Encounter
A fact is that the majority of young gay boys will have an awkward first sexual encounter. There’s no sit down manual when you first start exploring. Inevitably you’ll sit there mimicking what you’ve either seen before, or what the more experienced partner is doing.
My own first sexual experience happened at a house party in the bathroom. Driven by vodka and drunken confidence it was inevitably a simple copy and paste. Whatever he did, I did. My first anal experience was a simple nightmare of pain as two very inexperienced boys were driven by hormones and a concept of ‘it worked in porn’. Rather than a respect and understanding of each other’s bodies.
I’d seen porn. But no one had taught me the basics. Don’t worry though we’ll cover that later. Point here is that sex is easy to access. You can get sex toys for men with the touch of a button. But learning about sex and how to have sex is a different story altogether.
GRINDR AND ONLINE DATING SITES
They all work in similar ways.
You have a photo of yourself, a brief bio and description and off you go. People trawl through the pages of photos and bios and if they see something they like, ding! They’ll send you a message. Or in some cases of Grindr a photo of their cock). It can be a very intimidating arena but with a few simple tips you can easily overcome this.
Some people use the anonymity of Grindr to boost their confidence.
They may seem like they know what you’re doing. It may seem straightforward but in person they may actually be a lot shyer than what they’re pretending to be. With that knowledge in mind – you can do the same thing.
I’m not saying to be dishonest
Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not, but if you think about it they may be in the same boat as you. Just as nervous, just as shy, with a chest pounding with anxiety and horniness.
Grindr is where you can be as anonymous as you want to be.
You’re not at a beat advertising that you’re there for sex in case someone finds that you’re there. You can choose to show your face. Or you can choose to show your face to people that you’re interested in. If you’re looking for hardcore sex, or a gay friend. Or you just want someone, a jerk off buddy for your Tenga or Fleshlight, then grindr and dating sites will be where you find it.
You’re going to get more responses if you have a photo and you’re upfront than what you’re going to get without a photo and being vague.
Safety First
Always let a friend know that you have a hook up or you’re meeting someone. If you’re going somewhere, let someone know where you are going and what time they should check in with you. This is purely a safety thing. Especially if you’re meeting in a park or somewhere that’s not a house.
Keep in mind that there are some people out there, admittedly not many, who will be more interested in harassing you than they will be in having sex with you.
Gay Sexual Experience
Take protection. Never assume that they’re going to bring the condoms and lubricant. Your safety is always squarely in your own hands. So buy a small lubricant to keep in the car, and always ensure that you have condoms on stock. For the record, do not keep condoms in your wallet.
Keep them in the drawer and only put them in your wallet if you think you’re getting lucky that night. Or you’re heading out to a date. Keeping them in your wallet will increase the chances of it breaking at the wrong moment.
If you don’t want to jump right in it – ask for coffee first
Take them out for a cocktail or beer at your local bar. That way you’re in a public place. And if you’re not comfortable you can excuse yourself. If you’re hot and ready, then you can head back to your place for some fun.
Remember that people may act differently in person than they do online. It can be beneficial to find out who they are – this is especially useful if you’re nervous. Nerves can severely affect sexual encounters and make it near impossible to have enjoyable sex.
Be up front and honest.
If you like the person and they seem nice you can tell them that you’re nervous and it’s your first time. Most boys will understand and try to reassure you that they’ll look after you and take it slow. Just keep in mind that there’ll be some boys out there who are only interested in a virgin boy. If they don’t seem as concerned about you as they should be, perhaps it might be more beneficial to move on.
GAY BARS
One of my first sexual experiences was from a gay bar in Sydney. I’d had a few drinks, I saw a cute boy and I launched an all-out assault on him with my new found drunken confidence.
Started up a conversation (which consisted of hey), and started dancing with him (which consisted of slyly grinding up against each other as much as possible). Half an hour later we were making out at the bar. Fifteen minutes after that we were headed off to his house a few blocks away making out in every dark corner along the way being led by each other’s belts.
Bars and clubs are easy ways to meet people for some casual sex and fun. And the benefit of this over Grindr is that you see them in person. Not some cleverly orchestrated photo with just the right amount of lighting and Photoshop.
Dowwnside of Gay Bars
Usually there have been a few drinks involved which can go either way for the sex. You’re either ready to perform and go to town or you end up crashing into a heap.
It can certainly make the body more relaxed which can be a great thing. But it can also reduce the ability to respond to and acknowledge what your body is telling you. That and drunken fumbling may not be as sensual as a romantic evening. But hey, that could be exactly what you’re looking for.
Gay bars are a great way to pick up a boy, buy him a drink, dance with him, make out a little and if you’re lucky and one that you live close by. Who knows where the night might lead you? Or if you’re feeling down and dirty hit it up in the bathroom. Although if you’re after your first gay sexual encounter, bathroom sex is certainly not the classiest.
In this however, I’m certainly not one to judge. . .
SOPV’S AND BEATS
Some clubs will have gay SOPVs nearby, which is handy for out of towners.
SOPV’s are safe places which offer sex on premises. They’re located in most capital cities. What will happen is that you go in, pay your entrance fee and then go off to find a mate. SOPV’s come in two forms, cruise lounges and saunas which are two slightly different venues.
Cruise lounges
Will not have any wet areas. You’ll be walking around fully clothed until you meet your sexual partner(s) and then you can either play around in the open. Or retreat to a private room for some privacy before heading home.
A sauna
Will have a wet area either with showers, spas, baths or all of the above. You will generally walk around fully naked or just with a towel in a sauna. So you can, in a way, get all the awkward stuff out of the way before you decide to hook up with someone.
All SOPV’s will practice safe sex, and provide you with free lubricants and condoms as part of your entrance fee. In each private room there’ll be condoms and lubricant within reach. Remember that you need to use them.
BEATS
These are what existed before Grindr and instant sex apps and in the absence of sauna’s and bath houses. Beats will be in a secluded park, car park, or public space which is quiet at night. And where men will go to have sexual encounters. Beats can be risky at times. But then some people will view that as part of the fun.
Beats can be risky in the sense that sometimes straight males will trawl through them looking for trouble. And that police are usually aware of gay beats and might periodically do a sweep.
DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS
If you’re not the type of guy to jump straight into it (or on it) you might find your first gay sexual experience in dating a boy or in a relationship.
This is usually the best way. But it depends on how you work. Jumping straight into it can be a fantastic way to instantly boost your confidence. If you’re a quiet achiever and you love the intimacy aspect – then picking up a boy from Grindr or the bar to take on an actual date might be the option for you.
Quick fucks and hook ups are generally only about four things.
Cocks, mouths, bodies and asses.
Relationships or sex whilst you’re dating are also about these four things. But also about sensuality and intimacy. This might sound a bit too romantic for some. But not everything is going to be about the wham bam thanks for coming.
Finding you first sexual experience in a boyfriend is most likely going to be the most comfortable. Your boyfriend (hopefully) will know that it’s your first time. You both should have taken steps to ensure that it goes smoothly and talked about it.
It might be a little less awkward as well if something goes wrong. As it’s not just a random boy but someone that you have feelings for. At the very least it’ll make an interesting story at your anniversary!
Preparing for your first sexual encounter will be covered in a different chapter.